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It’s a aberrant trend, this abrupt affection for women to abjure themselves the use of their arms, to accessory about the abode like bound bats, animadversion ornaments over.

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The accepted trend for capes can be traced aback to 2001 and Division Four of Sex And The City, back Carrie Bradshaw donned a best fleet absolute nurse’s cape to a party.

It has appeared on the balustrade anytime since, but women haven’t absolutely taken to it until this winter. Tellingly, M&S, misreading the zeitgeist, acquaint me ‘it’s not a key covering appearance for us this year’, while Vogue says, ‘a dramatic, skin-skimming cape is an burning d changer’. They acclaim a acquainted cape by Valentino for £2,595, which is appealing cher for a covering sans sleeves.

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HO! HO! OH! Cyndi Lauper looks like a deranged Gothic Santa. I had a clover cape like this back I was six and alike again it was too girly. And why the sausage legs in leather? And the Mae West hairstyle?

BOUDOIR LOOK (left): Nicole Richie looks as admitting she’s accessible for bed in a negligee but at atomic she is cutting the Tadashi Shoji best cape (prices from £170- £450) accurately with accoutrements exposed. SHAPELESS STYLE (right): Stella McCartney amazes me with the trends she champions. This – a sample from her 2015 accumulating and not fabricated for auction – is a little abnormal and burka-like but she wears int nonchalantly 

TELL LAURA SHE’S LOVELY: TV presenter Laura Whitmore looks lovely, Her ‘This Love’ caped dress by Cameo (£80) is fine, delicate, not constricting or shroud-like and there’s no cleavage, acknowledge goodness

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JOLIE RESTRICTING (left): Angelina Jolie in this capelet dress looks like she’s in a beeline jacket, I wore a agnate one to an awards do and every time I aerial my arm the dress hit me in the mouth, advertisement my s. Ralph & Russo with prices up to £50,000. SHEER MISMATCH (centre): I had anticipation Yasmin Le Bon could do no wrong, but this bristling best absolve clashes berserk with the applique and arduous dress. Her accoutrements are accomplished on their own. SOFA SO BAD (right): Would you assurance this woman to accept cushions for your Chesterfield? Kelly Hoppen’s possibly best capelet conceals a abominable connected accouterments with gold belt and ancillary cleavage. All too much

I abhorrence capes, mainly because they cede the wearer the contour of a comatose crow, all angled amateur and awful demeanour. Alike worse is the mini-cape, contrarily accepted as a shrug, a abhorrent brand of apparel that proliferates at Christmas as women at parties endeavour to awning their high arms. The affliction mini-cape is one that is sequined or fabricated of fur: this instantly adds three decades to your age.

If you charge abrasion a cape, acceptation you will not be able to barrage a auto or beachcomber afterwards attractive like a penguin, again far bigger over an atramentous dress is article absolute (Victoria Beckham wore a jumper to the British Appearance Awards aftermost month): I like the atramentous knitted cape by Jigsaw, £89, accessible from John Lewis: A delinquent album this season.

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STONE THE CROWS (left): Lucy Liu in a crow-like caped covering by Alexander McQueen that costs a bald £1,895 and makes her accoutrements attending like a gorilla’s. It’s not in the spirit of the cape- airy and flowing. Ghastly. BACK IN YOUR BOX (centre): TV presenter Kate Garraway shows why accustomed women shouldn’t chase balustrade trends. The boxlike cape, costing £85 at Topshop, is too coat-like, the trousers too Next-like. A actual concertina of fabric. CARPET BOMB (right): Nicole Scherzinger is cutting a £387 Tadashi Shoji cardinal that looks like a carpet. She is abnormally not accustomed a handbag

JO’S LOOK HAS LEGS: Jo Whitely looks airy and appealing in this Shola caped dress (now bargain from £250 to £175). It has a bendable appearance and some embellishment. The bald legs stop it attractive dreary

NIGHTMARE ON NICKY STREET (left): Could blatant almsman Nicky Hilton scream appearance added loudly? The ablaze dejected cape, from Valentino, is like an atrocious anorak afterwards an advance by Freddie Krueger, amount about £1,300.  SHOULDER THE BLAME (right): I don’t see the point of this. It’s too beige, authoritative extra Portia de Rossi’s legs attending short. Not beat correctly: one bisected of cape should be flung over accept for atramentous wear. Georges Hobeika conjugal trousersuit, 2014 Autumn collection, prices unannounced

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SHORT ON STYLE: Another attack by Nicole Scherzinger. This would attending so abundant added chichi if the cape was a coat, slung over her shoulders. This makes her accoutrements attending freakishly short, artist Gina Bacconi, £220

LUST FOR A GUST: Nancy Dell’Olio in a Commes des Garcons cape cape, which isn’t too bad, at atomic we can achievement a able access of wind agency she’s smothered. From aftermost year’s collection, prices from £500 to £600

 

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