Like one of the characters in her off-Broadway play, “Stuffed,” Lisa Lampanelli jokes that during her dieting canicule — all three decades of them — she absent and regained some 300 pounds: “that’s 17 Sarah Jessica Parkers!”
But as the actor tells The Post, “My aliment issues aren’t the aforementioned as anybody else’s.” And so the one-note appearance she started autograph seven years ago became a beat for four women’s voices: a admeasurement aught who can’t accretion weight no amount how abundant she eats; a bulimic who binges and purges; a big woman adequate in her own skin; and Lisa, the alter dieter, played by Lampanelli herself.
“Stuffed,” which she calls a “Vagina Monologues” for the food-obsessed, uncovers the complicated animosity women acquire about their weight. For Lampanelli, it was all about award the appropriate diet — one that would booty off the pounds she’d put on by bistro her way through a crisis — and afresh activity like a abortion aback she couldn’t accumulate the weight off. That attempt connected up until 2012, aback she had belly sleeve surgery. Though she’d continued eschewed anaplasty as “the accessible way out,” she begin it had challenges of its own — and alike led to her divorce.
“Food was adulation in my family,” says the 56-year-old, who grew up in a accepted Italian ancestors in Connecticut. “At college, abandoned for the aboriginal time ever, I self-medicated with food. No drugs, no booze … For any affect that came up, aliment was the answer.”
Over cafeteria a the Westside Theatre, area “Stuffed” runs through Nov. 19, Lampanelli says that, all badinage aside, she’s absent clue of the pounds she’d absent and regained aback she was 18 years old. She says her weight ranged amid 112 and 248 pounds (her dress sizes from 2 to 24) as she approved one administration afterwards another: Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem … and a 500-calorie diet she says fabricated her beard abatement out and gave her boils.
“‘Two all-overs a day and a animate meal,’” she says, of one. “If I knew what a animate meal was, I wouldn’t be this fat!”
‘I self-medicated with food. No drugs, no booze … For any affect that came up, aliment was the answer.’
The 5-foot-8 ¹/₂ banana was her heaviest in 2012, aback stress-eating her way through “Celebrity Apprentice” had her belief about 250 pounds. She’d afresh angry 50, and a doctor asked her, “How abounding bodies do you apperceive who are this ample and still animate aback they’re 70?” She couldn’t anticipate of any, but she did apperceive she capital to alive — and that her dieting canicule were over: “You’ve got to be able to attending yourself in the eye and say, ‘No more, I’m done.’”
And so, bristles and a bisected years ago, she had gastric-sleeve anaplasty — the aforementioned procedure, Page Six reported, that Mariah Carey had this month. Lampanelli calls the laparoscopic action “the gold standard” for weight-loss surgery, adage there’s no downtime, and that she was walking the day after. (Gastric-sleeve anaplasty isn’t afterwards risks. Complications can accommodate infection, bleeding, assimilation issues and billowing bark from accelerated weight loss.)
Since the surgery, Lampanelli says, she’s afford 107 pounds, her continued albino locks and a bedmate — and has never been happier.
“They basically aish 85 percent of your stomach,” she says matter-of-factly, amid strategically baby nibbles of mac-and-cheese, a bowl she already devoured. “You get to alpha over with the abate abdomen you were meant to have. You feel abounding anon … Emotional bistro is out of the question, because if you eat too much, you feel sick.”
After two weeks on bright liquids, she angry aback to the abundance foods she admired — pasta and sweets — admitting in tiny portions. But afterwards two years of that, she says, “I accomplished I was low in activity and depleted … It was time to be an adult, bistro the aliment that gives me the activity to alive the fullest activity I can.”
These days, breakfast is a kale smoothie fabricated acceptable with chocolate-flavored protein crumb and a birr of cocoa. She’ll acquire apprenticed abstract during the day, and “a tiny bowl” of quinoa and a angular protein such as shrimp or craven for lunch. Dinner is generally a craven wrap, unless she’s dining out “someplace fancy” — in which case, she orders aliment her mother likes, “since she’s accepting the leftovers,” which are abundant aback she can’t physically accomplishment best restaurant portions on her own. Afresh again, Lampanelli says, “I’m so cheap, I’ll put it in the fridge and eat it over two or three days.” Afterwards actuality “good” 80 percent of the day, she says, she treats herself to a scattering of airheaded with absolute er, or six Hershey’s Kisses.
Her acquired way of bistro isn’t easy, nor is it cheap. Afresh again, Lampanelli says, she paid a lot to accomplish her abundant cocky attending good.
“When you’re overweight, you use beard or nails or big-ticket purses to adumbrate behind,” she says. Now a admeasurement 6, she ditched her cher beard extensions for a short-cropped ’do she dyes electric blue.
‘They basically aish 85 percent of your stomach. You get to alpha over with the abate abdomen you were meant to have.’
She relishes agitation bargain clothes. “I acquisition it abhorrent that plus-size accouterment costs added than regular,” she says. “Now I can go to Forever 21 and buy a freakin’ $10 shirt and I’m OK!”
As for her ex-husband: Jimmy Cannizzaro had gastric-sleeve anaplasty several months afterwards Lampanelli did (“He said he was cat-and-mouse to see if I’d die on the table!”) and absent 95 pounds. Already they chock-full bistro their feelings, she says, they accomplished they had little in common. So affable was their 2014 annulment that she abounding his aing wedding.
She, herself, has no affairs to re-affiliate.
“I’m so acceptable single,” says Lampanelli, who shares her Upper East Side accommodation and Connecticut home with Parker, the dog she called afterwards the brilliant of “Sex in the City.”
“I’m not absolutely accessible for a accord … I amount I’ll assignment on me and see what happens!”
If anything, she hopes “Stuffed” will advice others acquire themselves for who they are, and apperceive that they’re not alone: “Don’t feel abashment about your bistro and dieting, because there’s a lot of added bodies struggling, too.”
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